Monday, October 03, 2011

Some days attending Mass can really try my patience. Not because of how long it takes to get everyone out the door (that's a whole other issue, lol) but because when we do get there and settle in to spend some quality time with God, other people just dont' seem to get it.

Why do some people seem to have such a problem with discipling their children, or at the very least teaching them some manners? I doubt they would take their child to a movie and let them chatter away the entire time (or maybe they would; hard to say...). I don't want to listen to some kid behind me HUMMING songs for the entire homily, especially when they're certainly old enough to be able to behave. I TOTALLY get that sometimes toddlers will be a little disruptive, (I DO have a 2 1/2 year old!), and that sometimes they need something to keep them occupied; a book or two always works (as long as they don't insist that they be read to during the Mass! lol)

But really... does a school age child REALLY need to bring in the hand held video game? or a BAG of snacks?? Mass is an hour long. SERIOUSLY.... they WON'T STARVE TO DEATH if they don't eat for an hour! Toy cars and trucks that beep and grumble along? PLEASE LEAVE THEM AT HOME. They don't need 5 different coloring books and 2 kinds of markers or crayons, or all their Barbies AND a change of clothes for each one. Church is NOT A PLAYGROUND.

Once children are old enough to sit through a Disney movie, they should be expected to sit through an hour of church. But I suppose that it must start with the parents, and if the parents don't understand or observe proper behaviour at Mass then it's easy to see why the kids don't.

I recently read an excerpt from a book called "Motherhood Matters", by Dorothy Pilarski, addressing this exact issue. Entitled "Sunday Do's and Don'ts", Ms. Pilarski points out that there are expectations of behaviour clearly spelled out for places like a Symphony or Theatre, why can't there be for attending Mass?

The following are some of her suggestions:

"Remember you have entered into the house of God for the purpose of prayer, adoration and reflection. Now is not the time to talk to your friends, but to talk to God. In order to help you get the most from this sacred space we ask you to do the following:

- Turn off cellphones. Do not text messages or check your Facebook account from the pews or the back of the church. Leave your social media devices in the car. It’s distracting for others who are trying to pray. This is a time to focus on God.

- Do not chew gum. Spit it out before entering the church. Don’t push it to the side of your mouth to chew later. There should be nothing in your mouth when you receive the Eucharist.

- Dress with dignity. Mass is not a cocktail party. Mass is not a hockey arena. Dress with decorum and modesty and ensure your children do the same.
(It is very distracting and just not appropriate AT ALL to see short skirts, skin tight jeans and low-cut tops at church.)

- No children’s activity bags, granola bars, juice boxes, toys, etc. Mass is only one hour long. Children would grow in virtue if they were detached from these things for sixty minutes each week. For toddlers, instead of toys, try books for Catholic children or plastic rosaries.

- Provide instruction for children. Parents have an obligation to show their children the appropriate times to kneel, sit, stand and face the altar, not let them amuse themselves as if Mass is playtime. Involve them in the liturgy by teaching them to pray and telling them that Jesus is on the altar.

- Arrive on time. If you are late for Mass, be courteous to others and wait for an appropriate break before you walk down the aisle to find a seat.

- Don’t leave early. Set a good example for your children by staying in the pew until the Mass has ended with the final blessing and the priest has left the altar.

- Participate in the Mass. Don’t ask: “What is this Mass doing for me?” Instead, ask: “What can I do to participate more fully in the Mass?” Make an effort. Listen to the readings and the homily, recite the prayers of the Mass, follow along in the misslette and, when the music starts, sing! You will become an outstanding role model for your kids.

- No talking, please. Do not have conversations during Mass. You wouldn’t do that during a performance of the symphony. If you did, you’d be asked to be quiet or leave. So show respect for the priest and your fellow parishioners.

As a society in general, we are losing our sense of decorum and civility. Sadly, that’s also true at Mass. We have a responsibility to reverse that, to remember the reason we attend church is to know God, love Him and serve Him, especially at Mass."

If only her advice could be printed up on pamphlets and available at every church!

I'd like to read the rest of this book; sounds like this lady has some great words of wisdom!

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