What are YOUR kids doing on line?

I have noticed a growing trend lately, particularily among young girls - both teens and young adults.  There are so many of them posting "self-portraits"...copious amounts, in fact.  It's one thing to post pictures of yourself with friends and family, or to have pictures that other people have taken , posted and tagged you in, but to constantly be posing and taking your OWN picture is more than a little narcissistic.

  At first I wrote it off as plain old self-centeredness and conceit (even the ridiculous "duck-lips" pictures; does anyone actually think that those are nice looking pictures? really???)

Then I started really thinking about some of these girls, and how sorry their lives are.  Seriously, not being sarcastic here.  There is obviously a lack of parental guidance in their lives. What caring, responsible parent would not SAY something to their daughter about this blatent self-promotion?  What is lacking in these girls' lives that they feel the need for constant affirmation (because of course their dutiful friends will automatically comment favorably on these pictures) from others?  What kind of adults will these girls grow up to be, and how will it affect our world?

With girls continuing to objectify themselves, is it any wonder that women continue to be objectified as a whole?  How can we complain about this when we sit back and LET this happen?  I once tried to say something to a friend about her daughter's postings.  I casually asked her if she was on Facebook, or if she ever checked her kids' profiles (her daughter was 14 at the time).  I was as tactful as possible, and while I certainly never voiced this, I was thinking that maybe she might appreciate a "heads up" from a friend, rather than get into a messy, embarassing and potentially dangerous situation later (they were "those types" of pictures).  That friend no longer speaks to me.  And the girl's pictures were not taken down.  

One other time, I mentioned again as tactfully as possible to a different friend a concern about her daughter's pictures and postings (I mentioned nothing specific, just that "sometimes it's a good idea to keep "on top" of what your kids are doing online).  She dismissed it, saying that "they'll do what they want anyway".  Needless to say,  I didn't bring it up again.

I have had a couple of calls in about things my kids have posted in the past (never pictures).  I was/am grateful that someone else out there holds standards for my children too.  The issues were immediately dealt with, and it gave impetus for discussion about internet dangers and how what we post can be seen by anyone.  We need to remind our children, regardless of their ages, that what they post DOES impact how people will see them; employers, teachers, family friends, and parents of their friends.   They may not like it, but that's life.  Seeing conversations and pictures about how drunk you got this past weekend just doesn't do much for your reputation.  Neither does posting trashy pictures of yourself.  We actually DON'T want to see your boob shots, girls.  And the boys that you're posting these for ARE NOT the types of guys you want to eventually marry, nor are you the type of girl any mother would want her son to marry, as far as that goes...

But back to my original topic....it's so sad to see these young girls that are so completely self-obsessed and self-absorbed. It's scary to think that these will be the parents of the next generation, the generation that supposedly will "take care of us" in our old age.  The attitude of  "I don't give a damn about what anyone thinks" isn't going to serve these kids well in the real world.

What can we do? As parents, do we not have a responsibility and an obligation to guide our children, to teach them to think of others?  Are we too late?